The evening started with a cold open performance by Justin Timberlake to "Can't Stop the Feeling," then some ribbing between JT and Kimmel (even though it's kind of cheating, since Jimmy FALLON is supposed to be JT's boy.)
In his monologue, the 89th Academy Awards host acknowledged that the country is divided right now, but he's not the "Braveheart" who'll be uniting us (and neither is Mel Gibson). However, Kimmel said it all starts with reaching out to our enemies, so he decided to bury the hatchet with his nemesis ... Matt Damon. However, he then proceeded to insult Damon, from his film choices ("The Great Wall" over "Manchester by the Sea") to his weight, saying when he first met Damon he himself was "the fat one."
Kimmel said he actually wanted to thank President Trump. "Remember this time last year when it seemed like the Oscars were racist?" It was a great year, he added, because black people saved NASA and white people saved jazz.
He also made a "Moonlight" joke that seemed to either offend or completely miss the audience: "The only happy ending in all these nominees was the one in the middle of 'Moonlight.'" When star Mahershala Ali and the crowd didn't seem to know how to react, Kimmel quipped, "You didn't see it, did you?"
Jimmy Kimmel correctly calls out that most of the people in the room never actually saw Moonlight #Oscars
— Jessica Goldstein (@jessicagolds) February 27, 2017
Kimmel also took some shots at "mediocre," "underwhelming" Meryl Streep, who was honored with her 20th Oscar nomination.
"Meryl Streep has phoned it in for more than 50 films over the course of her lackluster career." He also had everyone give Streep a "totally undeserved" standing ovation. Sarcasm at its finest, everyone!
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